There used to be ways
to mourn the ones you lose,
like dressing in Victorian black
the rest of your life
or taking a week off work.
Grieving’s still called a process
by some who think you need
to take it one step at a time
one step after the other
till the pit in your heart fills.
What some don’t get
is that grieving is never done;
it just gets put down
a little bit more each day
as you try to remember—and can’t
count any more the days and weeks
and months and years
since that first minute
you lost and another turned
with the hands of the clock
you’d like to shut off—and can’t
because time is on your side.
It can give you a headache sometimes,
this figuring out how to be
with people when you’re without
people you love.
Maureen E. Doallas, Writing Without Paper